Ms. Baxter

She is hot so I give you candy...

A Stitch In Time

After a long a terrifying journey through life's underworld, Malcimus Maximus resurfaces back on planet earth with a new found appreciation for life and the blessings that come one's way thru the course of one's path. On my trip back to reality, I listened to a cd that was randomly playing while I looked for a bit of sanity in today's earthly musings. Needless to say, I didn't know any of the songs being played. I could only reflect on the music that made me nod my head in enjoyment. Sadly, this is what is bugging me. What has my sober mind learned, you ask? Let's see:

Tupac is finally dead.
Boyz II Men have only three members now.
Guy isn't getting back together.
New Edition hate each other.
30 is the same old 30, that's why I'm so hot.
JohnLegend does liquor commercials.
Ice Cube does kiddie movies.
Mos Def would rather be a singer than a rapper.
Maxwell is gay.
Black Sheep are "one-album" wonders.
Common dances on Gap commercials.
Flava Flav is the king of reality television.

It feels good to be back! Pete Rock and CL Smooth are onstage drinking Cisco.

Cash Machine

There is hole in my heart cuz of that ass....... My stuff may have went thru it.

Maximus~

Jennifer Lopez On My Block...

Not quite the same but hot, nonetheless...

She is Plastic Hot!

Torn Between 2 Dawgs...

Malcimus Maximus has a passion about professional football that one cannot understand. He can remember getting his heart broken by the Minnesota Vikings when Randy Moss and Chris Carter didn't accomplish the goal of destroying John Elway in the Superbowl because they were cursed in the Championship game. He cried when Robert Smith retired when he still had a lot of yards left to gain. He revelled when his favorite player, Joey Browner, scared the crap out of a player; and either he made a hard hit, or took an interception. He thinks that Alan Paige is one of the greatest minds of all time. Ladies and gentlemen... I am a Minnesota Vilings fan. I have walked the turf of the Metrodome. I not only love the Vikes, but I love football.

Recently, Michael Vick has been indited on charges of fighting dogs in his cousin's Atlanta home which he purchased. Malcimus will be the first to sat that I am not a fan of any dogs. When I come around, they bark like they want to rip me to pieces. I have found more owners restraining their dogs around me than actually playing with their dogs and having a good time. Owners say that either the dog know that I don't like them or they realize that I love cats. My one interaction with a dog happened when I was a kid. For Christmas, my mom and dad bought me a red car that you peddle. I was 4 or 5 years old at the time and there was a ton of snow outside. Little Malcimus begged to ride in his "Penis" car and finally Mom complied. Out of no where, a German Sheppard came running toward the kid while displaying full speed with the intent to strike. Was "Little Malcimus" to run and live in fear of getting caught from behind by this monster? No. "Little Maximus" defended his car by kicking the German Sheppard right in the throat while it snapped at me. Luckily, the "boy wonder" screamed, "Not Today, Godammitt!" Malcimus threw snowballs until his backup (older family members arrived.

Max doesn't really like dogs but he feel terrible for the dogs that fight and are trained to kill for money and or your viewing enjoyment. Malcimus Maximus has seen dog fights when he was a kid and nothing hurts your heart more than having to see a dog get put down because it lost a fight to another dog, In the court of law in most cases, dogs are considered property and not beings. Hopefully, Michael Vick will learn the harsh lesson of being that "property" of the state of Atlanta.

Malcimis Maximus

You Got To Step Up Young Man...

With all of the turmoil of recent events, Malcimus Maximus feels as though he has cheated those who know and read his blog so here's the skinny:

Maximus Maximus and the "Juggernaut" company have parted ways for good. Like Maxwell said, "I should be crying but I just can't let it go". Corporate America has another casualty in it's clutches. Malcimus Maximus had dedicated 9 1/2 years to a company and a system that he once believed in. The transition is difficult due to the friends that he's made though the years and the relationships that he must severe due to the act of insignificants. This is not a vacation, it's merely a test of one's will to show one's true self in life. Should he sleep all day and watch Judge Mathis of SportsCenter? Or shall he get up and seek revenge on the company that has insulted his reign as an up-and-coming playmaker? Or should the wisdom of life transform Malcimus Maximus into a self proclaimed businessman with his own ideas and acting as his own boss? "I know you've got a little life in you left, I know you've got a lot of strength left". As I burn all of the trophies and accolades from this place while dancing and pop-locking, I listen to Keith Murray and Tyrese, "Can't Nobody Do It Better". It's time to start the final chapter....

Candy-The forgoten Yasmine Bleeth

I Don't Usually Do This, But Keep the Party Going...

Stacy Dash. Show me one who's sexier! Go ahead.. I'll wait...

Jessica Alba..

Candy is Back...

Bruce Bowen of the San Antonio Spurs Vs Paris Hilton

My pal Patrick Hruby wrote this column on page 2 of ESPN.com which Malcimus Maximus wants to share. Enjoy.

One is irritatingly inescapable, inescapably irritating, more than a little dirty and quite possibly the most detested person in the whole wide world, at least for this week. The other is Paris Hilton. With the moronic heiress back in the slammer and Bruce Bowen handcuffing opposing scorers en route to yet another NBA championship ring, it's time to ask: which person is more worthy of public disdain? Herein, the head-to-head:

Time in the slammer adds street cred to Paris Hilton's portfolio.

Catch Phrase:
Bowen: Lets his feet do the talking … from underneath opposing jump shooters.
Hilton: "That's hot".
Edge: Hilton. Broken ankle not as bad as a thicket of dead neurons.

Hey, How'd That Happen?
Bowen: A karate kick between your legs.
Hilton: Fire in your crotch.
Edge: Even. Some types of pain can't be quantified.

Talents Best Appreciated:
Bowen: On film.
Hilton: On film.
Edge: Even. Use freeze-frame, super slo-mo to see the really nasty stuff.

Totally Redundant:
Bowen: Finished second in voting for NBA Defensive Player of the Year for three straight seasons.
Hilton: Has a full-time publicist. Seriously.
Edge: Hilton. Heck, why not hire personal paparazzi as well?

Not As Dirty As...
Bowen: The mid-'90s New York Knicks.
Hilton: Lindsay Lohan.
Edge: Bowen. Knicks did permanent damage to the NBA; Lohan only doing permanent damage to her nasal capillaries.

Did You Know?
Bowen: Averaged 16 ppg as a Cal State Fullerton senior.
Hilton: Actually earned a GED.
Edge: Bowen. Kevin Federline has a GED, too.

Oh, The Irony!
Bowen: Puts opponents on the line, but is a terrible foul shooter (.570 career percentage).
Hilton: Teamed with Puffy Combs in 2004 get-the-kids-out-to-vote drive; did not vote or even register herself.
Edge: Hilton. "Teamed with Puffy Combs." 'Nuff said.

You CANNOT Be Serious:
Bowen: A former teammate once told SI.com that "if anything, Bruce is too nice … there's not a dirty bone in his body".
Hilton: Told Regis that "one-night stands are not for me".
Edge: Even. Oh, and the Iraqis will greet us a liberators. For sure.

Unexpected Brilliance:
Bowen: Hasn't missed a game since 2002.
Hilton: Once observed that "only fat people drink Diet Coke".
Edge: Hilton. Sorry America, but she's right.

Dream On:
Bowen: "Bruce Bowen: Come Fly With Me" opens in IMAX theaters.
Hilton: "House of Wax II" green-lighted, Anthony Minghella to direct.
Edge: Even. And thank goodness.

Nice Work If You Can Get It:
Bowen: Earned $3.75 million this season to help send the Phoenix Suns packing.
Hilton: According to Forbes, earned $15.5 million over the last three years
Edge: Even. When they win, we all lose.

Semi-Redeeming Qualities:
Bowen: Nice guy off the court; can knock down the open trey.
Hilton: Hasn't released follow-up album; doesn't own 24-hour cable network. Yet.
Edge: Hilton. There's really no redeeming "Stars Are Blind."

Personal Kryptonite:
Bowen: Creating a shot.
Hilton: Sidekicks, storage locker fees, speed limits, showing up to court on time.
Edge: Hilton. Note to self: When the judge is already ticked, do not be late to scheduled hearing.

Grace Under Pressure:
Bowen: Doing an admirable job against ascending LeBron.
Hilton: IT'S NOT RIGHT! MOMMY! WAAAAHHHH!
Edge: Bowen. Though "grace" is not a word usually associated with either person.

Someone Ask For A Recount:
Bowen: Undrafted in 1993, the same year Acie Earl, Rex Walters and Geert Hammik were picked in the first round.
Hilton: In 2006 AP poll, voted second worst celebrity role model, behind Britney Spears.
Edge: Hilton. Where did the AP poll take place, Florida?

Suggested Birthday Gift:
Bowen: A copy of "Edward Scissorhands".
Hilton: A "Monopoly" get-out-of-jail-free card.
Edge: Hilton. Though she'd probably attempt to use the card.

FINAL SCORE: No contest, as Hilton drubs Bowen 8-3. Pity that Hilton's probation violation can't be punished with a life sentence. Is it too late to start up an online petition?

Deelishis

Deelishis
Originally uploaded by malcperelli

Tell Em, Powda...

If It Hadn't Been 4 da Lord, I Wouldn't Never Had A Naya-Nutha Bitch Come Into My Life...

New York City Episcopal priest Timothy Holder ("Poppa T"), whose HipHopEMass and "Hip Hop Prayer Book" have turned south Bronx youth into parishioners over the last two years, issued a music CD in November featuring Bible stories in street language. For example, the 23rd Psalm: "The Lord is all that / I need for nuthin' / he 'lows me to chill." [Reuters, 11-6-06]

WonderWoman

Nothing like a little PhotoShop to make work-life productive, eh? Enjoy...

Love Forever and A Day, Baby!

Minor setbacks haven't crippled Malcimus Maximus from returning as scheduled to the forum. No bitter thoughts: Merely trying to live life like it's golden. Maximus has become inspired to return to the fight while plotting to win the title. Bring on the Jobbers in hopes that I return to contention! It is wicked cool to be back!

Up And Atom!!!

He returns with vengence on his mind and darkness in his heart!!! Welcome back Malcimus!